Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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