I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize