You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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