VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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