I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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