I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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