Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
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I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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