I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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