from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He felt like a one man threesome
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She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
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Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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