i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
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I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
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By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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