Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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