He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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