Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize