so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize