i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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