Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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