dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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