I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
That's how pantless uber rides happen
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize