I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize