did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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