If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize