i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize