Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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