...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize