Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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