Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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