so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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