Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize