To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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