you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize