i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
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The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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