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Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Buhtt sex?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
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