how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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