btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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