Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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