The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize