If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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