I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
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i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
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I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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