You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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