forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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