I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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