what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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