You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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