You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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