I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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