just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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