thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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