You smell like stripper and shame
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
God I need to hump something, right now.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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