Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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