Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Did I show you my penis last night?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize